the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
