When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
