let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
