I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
