if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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