found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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