the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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