I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
