Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
