Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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