I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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