My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
