By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
