All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
is it fun? or sober?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
