i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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