C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize