We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
