did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
