U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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