Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
