can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
