Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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