Umm I'm too high to move.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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