Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
