Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
