The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
