I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
