I just found puke in my bra..
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
