one might say we're banned from that church
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize