just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize