I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
