Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
