she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
