i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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