i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
