I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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