Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he puts the penis in happiness.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
