mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
