dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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