grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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