I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize