Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
