Non-Jews are for practice
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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