from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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