just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize