yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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