Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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