Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
