Non-Jews are for practice
where am i from again
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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