You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize