it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
