On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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