i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize