As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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