Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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