Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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