She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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