the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
