At least make sure they are 18
Why
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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