I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I understand Curling. That high.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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