My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
