I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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