I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize