Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
