About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
