Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
