You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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