Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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