plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
