I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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