her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
