I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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