in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize