6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
