I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
