yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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