I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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